Feeling unwell,

Feeling unwell,

Why did I drink so much Zinfandel?



Going home; don?t need a ride.

Can still pull over if the car starts to slide.



Now in the car

Now in a ditch

Now bleeding badly



Oh son of a-

Which way to the hospital again?

Can?t remember now because I hadn?t

Stopped drinking then



Ambulance pulls up

Wow, this room is bright.

Can?t feel my legs,

Something isn?t right.



Lying down in a paper gown,

In a soft hospital bed,

With a hangover and a half,

Man, I wish I was dead.



My parents walk in,

I?m screwed now

But they just grin,

?Happy 21st birthday?







Wow.

It goes here. ^^

Mm...interesting point of view. And I like the usage of short sentences. Meh, pretty ironic though - I just know that my parents won't be like that. XD

Yes, at age 21 everyone becomes free to drink alcohol in America. But just like with all things that come with adulthood, there is a sense of self responsibility to go with it. So if you're having a bad day and feel like having a few, well that's fine, but as soon as you get in a car and start to drink, then you're taking your life into your own hands (and many some others as well). The style of the poem is very straightforward and to the point. It paints a rather harsh picture, but one that could be very real to many people.

thanks all and beleive it or not, I wrote the first version of that in eighth grade. It was revised, re-written, torn up and written again until it became what you see now. And you hit the proveribial nail on the head, Hikaru-san, as far as what I wanted the reader to get out of the poem.

Wow! I like it! Short, and to the point. And the point is given well!

domo-arigatou Haven-san

like my avatar its a little zangoose from pokemon!!!!!!! isnt it cute and i loved the poem!!!!!!!! heres the previous avatar but it was boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!