Author Topic: Gift..... dodges olives (Read 1455 times)

Haggis-chan · « **on:** October 05, 2004, 05:48:27 PM »

Me had to write some poetry for English this week, and naturally I thought it sucked. But because Amy-chan is our regular poetry person, I got her to look over my poetry. And for some strange reason, she thinks it's good. And she encouraged me to post some up here. So, please, no olive throwing. v_v And I apologise in advance for some of the crap here.

This one has a working title of Shades of Pain.
This can either be percieved as someone in great pain, or me getting very annoyed with my heat rash. Enjoy. *cough* (This is free verse, btw).

It's just a little red.
It'll pass soon enough.
I'm ignoring it.
It's disappearing.

Blotches of fire.
All over me.
Burning through my skin.
They're fading like dead stars.

Heaps of Crimson.
They're invading one by one.
Fire is spreading through my veins.
They're claiming me.

Scars of fury.
They beg for me to let them bleed.
I scratch away endlessly.
The scars become me.

*dodges olives*

Should me embarrass myself excessively by posting more?

Froggie chan · « **Reply #1 on:** October 05, 2004, 07:23:47 PM »

i love that poem and too right you should have put it up earlier ^__^

post more *repeats*

Haggis-chan · « **Reply #2 on:** October 06, 2004, 05:00:42 PM »

Sorry, but that sucks muchness...
In my opinion anyway. I don't see anything good there...

Froggie chan · « **Reply #3 on:** October 06, 2004, 05:53:23 PM »

i do

Haggis-chan · « **Reply #4 on:** October 06, 2004, 06:16:57 PM »

Care to explain what, exactly? ^_^

minimoon · « **Reply #5 on:** October 06, 2004, 07:25:17 PM »

It's okay......... the topics a bit crap isnt it.......? $:-\$
Ode to blotchy skin....

remember only a truth friend would be that truely honest!

Haggis-chan · « **Reply #6 on:** October 06, 2004, 07:33:27 PM »

Thank you, someone who is honest...

Froggie chan · « **Reply #7 on:** October 07, 2004, 06:29:35 PM »

what and im not V__V

Maki-chan · « **Reply #8 on:** October 08, 2004, 01:42:10 AM »

I like the imagery in it, the different pictures of red things and whatnot. It makes me want to start scratching though .. ^_^;;

Froggie chan · « **Reply #9 on:** October 08, 2004, 03:32:34 PM »

i think its cool and way better than mine

Meilinrose · « **Reply #10 on:** November 10, 2004, 08:15:18 PM »

*Wanders in late*

Me seriously likes it Liz, the topic's unusual yeah - but that's what poetry's about, writing about what affacts YOU and not what might sound good or impressive or noble. In that sense, this could be just as worthy a poem as some of Amy-chan's best (and that's a big compliment to you both, don't worry ^_^)

Froggie chan · « **Reply #11 on:** November 18, 2004, 06:55:33 PM »

every writer can see the problems in their work thats why i hate mine so much........

the only poem i like that ive wrote was 'wrapped in a blanket of fallen tears'

Miss Lucia · « **Reply #12 on:** November 20, 2004, 08:43:49 PM »

This is good work liz you get an A and a shiny! but when i read it i started to scracth like crazy!

Haggis-chan · « **Reply #13 on:** November 21, 2004, 12:44:01 AM »

That was kinda the point actually, I was really itchy at the time, wanted to portray what I was feeling at the time...
I still think it sucks though.

Froggie chan · « **Reply #14 on:** November 21, 2004, 05:53:00 PM »

believe what you like liz i dont think that....

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