Author Topic: <Blue and Crimson Tears - Froggie's Poetry> <Last updated: September 3rd>  (Read 7505 times)

Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Froggie's Poetry
« Reply #45 on: November 25, 2004, 05:12:53 PM »
Knifes Edge

Trapped in the minds eye,
Surrounded by shadows,
Suffocated by the loneliness,
Drowning in forgotten dreams,
Lost in the darkness,
Soundless screams echo,
Sharp blood tinted knives,
Point their murderous ends,
At my weak skin,
Pocessing my mind,
Playing with my emotions,
As if they were childhood toys,
My dying heart is pierced,
And the dark red liquid falls,
A scream of pain,
And I awake,
From my nightmarish reality. 



UNNAMED!! ( help!!)

shes a face corrupted by shadows,
shes a mind pocessed by lies,
shes unconcious mentally,
shes the image of the,
dark emotions inside our souls,
shes dispied and hated,
amoung those of us strong enough,
to fight her while the weaker of us,
are drowned in her embrace,
Shes so silent you can hear a pin drop,
But as deadly as a cobra,
Shes sheilds herself from the truth,
her former self dormant inside her,
waiting for the chance to break free,
from the boundaries that smother her.

« Last Edit: November 28, 2004, 11:16:38 AM by amy chan »

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Miss Lucia

  • Water's Blessing
  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1996
  • Shinies: +28/-4
  • Fortune Telling Anyone?- Lucia
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #46 on: November 25, 2004, 07:38:46 PM »
this is very good amy you really r a good poet!!!! i think for the unamed one u should call it forgotten


Now the dance begins! *Starts to dance*

Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #47 on: November 25, 2004, 07:56:26 PM »
maybe its about hiding your true self with someone you hate....

forgotten may fit... i dunno... thanks anyways neil
*gives shiny* ^_^

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Haggis-chan

  • Batter Puddin'
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Soldier
  • ********
  • Posts: 4832
  • Shinies: +211/-8
  • Be different. Be a sheep.
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #48 on: November 25, 2004, 11:33:27 PM »
'Safe Haven' pops up into my mind from reading it, and also the word 'smothered' and 'inner demons'. Doubt that helps, but meh...
Much better than what I could write...
<- is screwed for English Coursework



Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #49 on: November 26, 2004, 07:44:05 PM »
i like the inner demon one alot...

i reminded you about your english coursework >.<

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Miss Lucia

  • Water's Blessing
  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1996
  • Shinies: +28/-4
  • Fortune Telling Anyone?- Lucia
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #50 on: November 26, 2004, 09:07:30 PM »
inner demon sounds good thanx for the shiny!!!!


Now the dance begins! *Starts to dance*

Meilinrose

  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1279
  • Shinies: +32/-1
  • OMFG AxA 4EVAAA
    • Dweeb - Pointlessness Digitalized. (MY LJ, you know you want to visit. Just cleeck.)
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #51 on: November 27, 2004, 09:41:19 PM »
They're both seriously good, I especially like the second one...I'm no good on titles, but I'd suggest correcting 'dorment' to 'dormant'. It was probably just a typo ^_^;



Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #52 on: November 28, 2004, 11:13:05 AM »
oops ^_^;;

you're are good at titles caz chan you named one 'Blade' for me

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Meilinrose

  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1279
  • Shinies: +32/-1
  • OMFG AxA 4EVAAA
    • Dweeb - Pointlessness Digitalized. (MY LJ, you know you want to visit. Just cleeck.)
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #53 on: November 30, 2004, 09:00:29 PM »
That title sucked, I don't know why you used it ^_^;



Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Re: Knifes edge... and an unamed poem
« Reply #54 on: December 01, 2004, 06:02:56 PM »
because it fitted and made the reader see the double meaning of the poem

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Froggie's Poetry
« Reply #55 on: December 05, 2004, 04:23:31 PM »
Trapped

Trapped in a corner
No where to turn
Her hands tied together
She weeps for the sunlight
And fears the darkness
That surrounds her very being
She tries to breathe in deeply
But her breath is short and soundless
Her eyes close in fatigue
But she snaps them back open
Her heart pounding against her ribs
That ache with bruises and sores
She calls out for help
Her voice dry and unfamiliar
She calls for the promise of happiness
But it now seems like a distant memory
Clouded by fog of forgotten dreams

She lies slumped in the corner
Her head facing the floor
As blood drips slowly from her blue lips




any comments happily recieved even bad ones :P

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Miss Lucia

  • Water's Blessing
  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1996
  • Shinies: +28/-4
  • Fortune Telling Anyone?- Lucia
Re: Trapped
« Reply #56 on: December 05, 2004, 04:50:06 PM »
THIS POEM IS COOL!!! for some reason it reminds me of the girl on the grudge! shinie for u


Now the dance begins! *Starts to dance*

Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Re: Trapped
« Reply #57 on: December 05, 2004, 04:58:51 PM »
it does? O.o

it was supposed to represent a child/ teenager who had been kidnapped and left to die.. which she does

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Maki-chan

  • Bookstore Clerk
  • Castle Caretaker
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7199
  • Shinies: +74/-6
  • I know, let's try this!
    • Henheart's Universe
Re: Trapped
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2004, 07:32:40 PM »
Like the others that you've written, this one also has wonderful imagery Amy-chan. I really can see her alone in the dark and suffering.

Oh my goodness! What would we do without our friends?

Meilinrose

  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1279
  • Shinies: +32/-1
  • OMFG AxA 4EVAAA
    • Dweeb - Pointlessness Digitalized. (MY LJ, you know you want to visit. Just cleeck.)
Re: Trapped
« Reply #59 on: December 05, 2004, 08:53:18 PM »
Really good if a shade disturbing...though I'd like to know how she died, if she has blood dripping from her lips o_O