Author Topic: The candle  (Read 269 times)

Jamesworth

  • Resident Snob
  • Approved Members
  • Choushin Washu
  • ********
  • Posts: 842
  • Shinies: +4/-1
  • is there an osaka fanclub? me want to join...
The candle
« on: July 23, 2005, 09:00:55 PM »
Here is my attempt at writing a poem.... it's not very good but i thought i should write it:


The Candle

A candle in a room.
It tries to bring light to the world,
But no one lets it out.
Though they use it,
They take it for granted.
They abuse it,
They try to blow it out,
But it still glows strong.
One day it will flicker,
And disappear.
Then they will discard it,
And forget it.

Miss Lucia

  • Water's Blessing
  • Approved Members
  • Universe Citizen
  • ********
  • Posts: 1996
  • Shinies: +28/-4
  • Fortune Telling Anyone?- Lucia
Re: The candle
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2005, 09:36:20 PM »
Not good? you say thats not good. It is wonderful. Every poet usually puts an emotion in their work to give it passion. Anger, Courage, Depression. You've mixed all three in strongly and its wonderful. I can see the symbolism behind your words and its a lie to say its not very good. It's like me saying i'm Daria. so be happy with your work ^_^


Now the dance begins! *Starts to dance*

Jamesworth

  • Resident Snob
  • Approved Members
  • Choushin Washu
  • ********
  • Posts: 842
  • Shinies: +4/-1
  • is there an osaka fanclub? me want to join...
Re: The candle
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2005, 09:37:25 PM »
I suppose i am happy with it..... i'm just not happy with what it means to me...

Maki-chan

  • Bookstore Clerk
  • Castle Caretaker
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7199
  • Shinies: +74/-6
  • I know, let's try this!
    • Henheart's Universe
Re: The candle
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2005, 11:26:49 PM »
Erm, the theme is steeped with cold reality, so it's not very uplifting. However I agree with Kuri-chan, the symbolism is wonderful and easy to relate to. Every person out there with an over-inflated ego needs to read your words.

Oh my goodness! What would we do without our friends?

Froggie chan

  • Poet Laureate
  • Global Moderator
  • Universe Commander
  • ********
  • Posts: 7364
  • Shinies: +220/-14
  • I'm a prayer for your lonliness
Re: The candle
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2005, 12:31:06 PM »
Hey this is great James! and dont you worry about depressing stuff.. its a great vent for emotion writing is ^_^
Its very similar to an older poem of mine that needs some serious editing.. I might post it up sometime, but so you know I know what the meaning behind this is and I can relate.
*hugs*
if you write some more make sure you post it up ok? ^_^

"The prince is never going to come, everyone knows that and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.."
Vampires Lamest

Jamesworth

  • Resident Snob
  • Approved Members
  • Choushin Washu
  • ********
  • Posts: 842
  • Shinies: +4/-1
  • is there an osaka fanclub? me want to join...
Re: The candle
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2005, 01:06:19 PM »
Ok amy *huggles* but i'm no good at writing peoms.... at least not as good as you. I've tried loads of times but they all seem to turn out crappy. >_<