Topic: Elegy of Spiritualism. (Kuri-Chan Poems ^_^)

[Miss Lucia]

Thank you guys. Me just like it because it came from my heart. ^_^

[Meilinrose]

It's not true Neil, but a very emotive piece all the same ^_^

[Miss Lucia]

Your Eyes are mirrors which shatter my skin.
Your Touch is a spark that will burn me alive.
Your Words are like stone which crush my limbs
Your Love is an ocean which drowns from within.

You are my Undoing
             You are my True love

Hold me Close, Kiss me gently. And please take the knife from my back.....

[Froggie chan]

some amazing imagery there neil and in a dark way a humerous ending.

It shows how much love can control a person and how much it can hurt.. well thats what i see when i read it anyways.

[Miss Lucia]

Thank you that was what i was putting across. A person so needing of love they will stay with someone who causes them so much pain and sorrow. They feel that they can stand it if they are with them but they are the one who causes the pain. The ending is supposed to be sarcastic because in the end we all see the truth...

[..:: Chibi Plum ::..]

aaawww sad. if someone upset me so much i wouldn't stay even if i  did love them a lot 0.o hhhmmmm.....nice poem though. i'll stick to my story writing...i'm good at that......

[Miss Lucia]

Cold Pains shoot from my heart, thinking of
the lonleyness i shall never part, Whore, Retched, Plauge,
cursed, Words so sharp i bleed from my eyes as i try to run
the crimson tears from my hands. My burning love for you
will inspire the passionate lustful taste of your blood on my lips

So what do you guys think?

[Froggie chan]

I relaly like this neil, again you use a twist at the end of the poem that seems to round it all up.
Though its short the stlye you've wrote in fits well and I understand what you mean.
As for a suggestion, id say try and organise the style a little more, unless your trying to get a atmosphere of confusion across...
But it is really good, great work! *hugs*

[Maki-chan]

The last verse does tie it up good Kuri-chan. ^_^ Someone that's been hurt and bled by others becomes filled for a desire for revenge, a thirst for love turns to one of hate. It's rather tragic, but unfortunately it does happen and love turning into hate is one of the greatest evils of all.

[..:: Chibi Plum ::..]

WWOOOO coolies poem!!!

[minimoon]

It's really good but please read the rules!!! 1 thread per member!!!!

[Miss Lucia]

Another Poem my children ^_^

Poor Little Victim

Poor little victim lost in the dark
your eyes full of malice your heart full of pox
Deceiving the masses with your whimpers and tears,
while you scorn at the squirmer brandish her fears.
Poor little victim locked in the dark
thinking your innocent thinking your marked.
We've Opened our eyes and now we will see
your a user, a whore and the pain comes from thee.

[Froggie chan]

wow, I love it.
seriously o.o

[Miss Lucia]

Thankies. I suddenly got the inspiration in Maths,

Tis about Cassie 

[Maki-chan]

It's really good and very well expresses the concept of exploiting the feelings of others. I believe that this Cassie person has come up before ...?