Topic: <Blue and Crimson Tears - Froggie's Poetry> <Last updated: September 3rd>

[cookie munster]

is it me, or are your poems getting better and better, and longer and longer?
well, well done keep it up okies?
well, ya better, ^_^

[Froggie chan]

I wouldnt say either but less common.
I havent wrote in so long its annoying me.

[cookie munster]

you should write one again, theyre awesome ^_^

[Froggie chan]

I'm trying.
Lack of inspiration or anything...
I really think I've lost my touch.
D':

[cookie munster]

yea, i know what you mean, i have blocks from drawing, just relax, keep a pen and paper, and even if its nothing, just scrap it down, who knows it might be a best seller

[Froggie chan]

Well fuck me I'm back!
It has been too long since I revamped this place with my ramblings, so I am back..
Yes, I have a sudden small creative rush.
: D

This poem is very rocky, I know. I really do need the critism, I think.
It's very messy and makes little sense except I understand it myself since I wrote it.
If you read carefully you may get it..
I dunno. xD

Well enjoy - btw, structure/layout IS going to be worked on alot when I get around to it. C:
And it needs a title. o_o;;
------

Escaping into crowded streets,
Pink teacups falling into egotastical shards,
Cars crashing into blinding red traffic lights.
Life machines hum into deafening green screaming.
Alice is running, Alice is crying, Alice is tripping.
Couples in photogrenetic ignorant, technicolour bliss,
Nails crumbling into ebony dust.
Hiroshima repeating itself over again.
Bomb falling,
People screaming.
Bomb crashing,
Cloud extinguishing.

Blue glass eyes deprived of their own lives,
China faces bleeding crimson into their own harrowing nightmares,
Lethal injections run freely through macarbe indigo veins.
Alice is dying, Alice is choking, Alice is deceased.
This static globe is spinning on a tilted axis,
Their war has tarnished proprous starters.
Delusional neon whispers of hope,
Dampened by cream peace contrats ripping,
Soldiers run obiendiently.
Guns laugh menacingly.
Children run fearfully,


The monochrome girl's laughing.

[cookie munster]

o.o
whoa
cant
add critisism thingy
cuz
its just too darn good
no joke
its not random but its a different view of looking at things
woot
well done

[Schitzoid]

Woah, Ameh! That's amazing. Beautifully written. My only crit?

Hiroshima*

[cookie munster]

.. i never noticed.. ah well.
XD

[Froggie chan]

My bad spelling strikes again.
*sweatdrop*

Thanks guys, my friend commented on how the rhythm destroys itself but I like it with no rhythm.
Makes it more dysfunctional and un-flowing.
o.O;;

[cookie munster]

yeah, it dont have to rhyme cuz its a poem it has its own flavor