Topic: <Blue and Crimson Tears - Froggie's Poetry> <Last updated: September 3rd>

[Froggie chan]

the hourglass was developed from the lines:
1 pill, 2 pill, 3 pill, 4 how many pills till i hit the floor?

it was in my head weeks ago and i was so depressed i developed it.

no-ones replied tp my other 2 poems! *cries*

[Maki-chan]

They're both very different Amy-chan. The first one seems sad and melancholy, a picture of lonliness. The second one seems violent and shocking, very much the opposite of the first one. It's like a picture of hate, while the first one just shows a lack of love.

[Maki-chan]

Aww, *Huggles* I liked all three of them Amy-chan. Like with your previous poems, there is also wonderful imagery in these too. I can clearly see things like the blackened heart, masks, maze of mirrors, and the sands of time. Maybe I just have a visual mind, but your talent for getting me to see such things is a beautiful gift. ^_^

[Maki-chan]

Writing it down is a really great way to get feelings like that out of your system and throw them away. I know too that stress and anxiety can make one's mind see things that aren't really there. Just remember how much all of us love you Amy-chan because the fear of thngs not real cannot deny what is real. ^_^ *Huggles*

[Froggie chan]

*hugs back*
thankies MJ-chan.

[Froggie chan]

thankies ^_^

my english teacher says i use too much imagery and descriptive stuff in my work XD

[Froggie chan]

I wrote the first one literally around a year ago i just forgot it was in my school documents O.o

The blood on a rose was started by me (up to the line ' rape her') and ashley wrote the ending as she wanted to and i couldnt be bothered.

i like them both in their own ways and the blood on a rose seems different to what i usually write.. well i think so. i agree that its more violent but i still think theres a hidden truth in it somewhere.

[Froggie chan]

Childish Nightmare.

Lost in a world of rainbows and butterflies,
Escaping this world, rid of its lies,
Away with the hidden pain,
But you cant hide this shame,
What makes them so great?
Standing up above me like God,
But ill bring them down,
make them taste the poison of their lives,
through broken dreams and snapped wishes,
Ill rise above them,
A twisted fantasy swirled woth guilt,
Ill change this childish retreat,
Rip down all the rainbows with my torn hopes,
Squeeze the butterflies with this pressure, this stress,
For everyone of their pathetic one night stands,
Ill shatter their hearts,
No regard for life,
For every repressed emotion,
Consumed within my darkened soul,
Ill sit in my childhood dream,
out of place with these bloodened fingers,
i am the nightmare of childish innocence,
The vision of my empty soul.


this was in a weird way inspired by Caz-chans poem. im not sure how but after i read it all these lines came out of no where O.o

[Maki-chan]

Hmm, the whole idea of squishing butterflies is something that I can really see you doing because I know how much you don't like them. It's true that every one of us has our childhood fantasies and over time they sort of just sadly fade away and vanish. It's part of growing up and getting old, but as long as we have things like anime and movies, we can always find new fantasies to live. ^_^

[Froggie chan]

i kinda see it as a reflection of a childhood dream changed with maturity and pain.
'they' are the people who have ever put me down who have ever told me i cant do it... those who think they are better than everyone.

Ripping down rainbows etc is trying to grow out of childhood in a weird twisted way

it makes little sense to be honest XD
but im drawn to the words for some reason..

[Meilinrose]

Woah, I love it o_o It's very different to the stuff of yours that I've read before, maybe because of some of the rhymind lines (you don't rhyme much, you prefer straight verse methinks). It's very bittersweet in the sense that you had these fantasises and others did too but now you're destroying them, you're hurting but you're satisfying yourself with revenge if those parallels work o_O And it's interesting to read that my poem "inspired" you, I haven't read your comment on mine yet so I wouldn't know ^_^;;;

[Froggie chan]

And they sent you to hell,
In the back of your mind,
Where the shadows thrive,
And the real you hides,
You slept with the angels,
Raped their innocence and dignity,
But now with your eyes aflame,
And your piercing cries shattering the,
Silent night sky,
They take their revenge,
Stabbing pins through your torn broken heart,
And stealing away all your hope,
They stand there,
Angelic graces in a land of hate and pain,
Watching you,
Staring at you with heartless eyes,
As you wither and die.

[Froggie chan]

um.... is it really that morbid? o_o

[Meilinrose]

*Laughs* It is, I apologise - but that wasn't why I didn't see it, I just got used to there being no replies in this forum so I forgot to check ^_^;;;

There's some really good imagery in here, it shows you progressing as an author - the only thing I'd suggest is changing a couple of the lines (making them shorter?) because they seem to break up the rhythm a little strangely when I read it to myself. But other than that, which is a personal preference anyway, great job! ^_^

[Froggie chan]

yeah i know what you mean and ive been working on that.. im making my way through all my poems and doing that ever since my english teacher advised it.

but thankies *glomp*