Poetry (Ver.2) Options

[Yuki Fukurou]

Heh...it seems my small poetry thread here was deleted during the attack. Oh well.



Anyway...(considering that I'm sometimes obssessed w/the subj. of death)...I've decided to write another poem. (This...by far has got to be the best one I've written on the subject).



Death & Dying:



Death?such a scary fate & reality

And a hard way to accept.



We wish for our loved ones to be with us forever

But we know that cannot be.



We sometimes think life is unfair,

Yet it?s a lesson we have to learn.



It comes unexpectedly; we hardly notice it?s there,

Some people think it?s nothing, they really don?t care.



Yet once it happens, we can?t stop it,

The realization, the shock, the news?is just too much to bear.



We?re filled with a sense of emptiness & grief,

Like a stab through the heart, like our lives are incomplete.



Yet through the grief & despair comes a ray of hope

A hope to see them again, someday.



Death is like parting, but it won?t be forever

So don?t feel down & keep grieving.



Instead, remember them for all the good they?ve done,

How they impacted your lives.



Memories are your partner now; they?ll never die,

And even though they?re not with us physically, but in spirit?



There?s always a special place for them in our hearts.

[yuzuki chan17]

I liked it Yuki-san =)



I'm not much of a poet (far cry, actually) so I can't really give any constructive criticism. Keep writing though!

I'm growing impatient, drawing the blood of the masochist,

I wait for you,

the sadist.

if it's possible, with a poison kiss...

[Yuki Fukurou]

Anyway...here's another one I've made:



Falling Leaves:



There goes another leaf falling from the branches of an old tree

Changing color throughout the seasons, falling to the ground

It covers it all around

It shrivels up as it gets to fall,

And renews itself in the spring

It clings to the branch whenever the winds blow strong

And sometimes floats in the air or stumbles when being carried by the wind



And as soon as the wind stops, it falls everywhere

But sometimes it's dehydrated when there's noth enough water to help replenish it.

There goes another leaf, from the branches of antoehr tree, changing & falling.

"Do not be sad & do not weep, for not all tears...are from evil" - Gandalf, LOTR: Return of the King. (It's one of my favorite quotes from the movie)

[Shiidou Hikaru]

It kind of has the same theme of death, but uses the changing of the seasons as a metaphor for life. Those of us that believe in the afterlife see spring as the same renewal after our own winter of death.

Hikaru-chan's Magic Knight Rayearth Message Board Haruka | Dynasty Kingdom

[Yuki Fukurou]

Heh...sou ne. (thinks: No wonder I'm a bit obssessed w/that subject).

"Do not be sad & do not weep, for not all tears...are from evil" - Gandalf, LOTR: Return of the King. (It's one of my favorite quotes from the movie)

[Presea]

Kewl poems, Yuki-san. Speaking of leaves (Falling Leaves ) I wrote this one poem about Autumn, 'cuz it's my favorite season. Here it is: (hope it's okay if I post it here )

The Beauty of Autumn

O! For the beauty and wonder of all!
O! For the colors on leaves in the Fall!
How blessed and magical all of it seems,
When even it fills our quietest dreams.

O! For the mist in the bright, early morn'!
O! For the beauty I still have to learn!
The enchantment, the glory, the look on your face.
The magical moments that make my heart race!

O! For the beauty when Autumn is here!
O! For the wait until it comes next year.
How sweet are the moments in Autumn, fair!
If only this season were not quite so rare.

O! For the beauty and wonder of all!
O! For the colors on leaves in the fall!
How blessed and magical all of it seems,
When even it fills our quietest dreams.

[Kyouka-chan]

Presea, that's wonderful. Do you know the meter that you use? (it's wonderful how each line is in the same meter) I can't pinpoint it at the moment...I also like your rhyme scheme. As for the subject, there's this sense of yearning that is well expressed through the exclamation points and word choice. Overall great.

I can't post any of my poetry here because either one, I don't want it to be seen, or two, I don't have anything to post. I'll get back to it later, but I normally write on the spot...

[Yuki Fukurou]

Hey guys. Haven't posted in this one for a while.

Here's one that I created a few weeks ago. I think of it as interesting to write something on this particular topic.

Rage:

Anger, such a harsh word
Yet easy to let out at others

It?s like a raging beast being caged in
But cannot be kept in for long

Or like a time bomb
Slowly ticking away

We sometimes have control over it
And times we don?t

There are times we just feel like we want to vent
Other times hit something or yell to express our anger

Some have it temporarily
Others?have it longer

They say to be angry is to be human
And there are times people fear you because of it

We?re told not to kill
Because it first starts with anger

When is enough going to be enough?

Do we really control the anger within?
Or does it control us?

[Shiidou Hikaru]

Wow, it had been more than a year since anyone had posted anything in here. I'm awful at writing poetry myself so I'll not force anyone to endure it ... it even makes Vogons cringe ... v_v

I wish that I knew that you could write so well Presea-chan, because I would've asked to see your stuff much sooner. Your poem gives me a feeling of calmness and contentment, yet also a sense of something missing, like Kyouka-chan said, a longing for something more. The execution is utterly flawless Presea-chan and very professionally done! Nice work! You'd get an A+ from me if I were an English teacher ... well I'm not ... in case you didn't know ... ;;

Yuki-san's is much different and the feelings that I get are quite the opposite of Presea-chan's. Some of your metaphors are really wonderful for describing rage as raw emotion, hiding just beneath the surface. Rage really seems like that to me and all that it takes is a tiny little disturbance, a wrong word at the wrong time to set it free upon an unsuspecting victim. A good question at the end as well.

[Presea]

Thanx, you guys. I had always wanted to use the whole "O!" thing in a poem before, so I finally got my chance to do it in that poem. hehe Oh, and Yuki-san, you're Rage poem is good. It really describes rage well--especially that one line at the end:

Do we really control the anger within?
Or does it control us?

Nice work!

[Kyouka-chan]

Ah, there we go, I found the ripped out pages of my journal, but don't wanna post the poems I wrote. ^^;;

Anyway, I like using "O" also, and it's all thanks to Latin class. XD

"O natura! mundi pulchrum!" etc. etc. ^^

[Presea]

Here's another one I just made the day before yesterday:

A Snowy Night

Outside my window, cold and dreary
Snow is falling, soft and weary.

Frost adorns the window panes
And ice cords dangle from the frames.

Across the street, a snowman stands,
A sturdy broom clutched in his hands.

He does not seem to mind the weather,
As Autumn fades into the nether.

Embracing cold, while darkness reigns,
He gazes on the snowy plains.

Where snow and ice enfold the hills
And all is frozen, cold and still.

This wintry scene has me entranced,
Though it was meant a simple glance.

I lingered far too long on this;
This winter scene of snowbound bliss.

So through the glowing candlelight,
I bid goodbye this snowy night.

I'm prolly going to make a poem for all the seasons. In case you couldn't tell, this one's for Winter.

[Yuki Fukurou]

Very nice, Presea.

Your rhyming technique is very good.

[Yuki Fukurou]

Here's another that I've written yesterday:

Heartache:

A familiar pain we feel when there?s a breakup
Or when parting seems imminent.

Such a thing is difficult to handle
Sometimes even beyond our control.

There are times we have to accept the fact that it will occur no longer
Other times we have a sense of hope.

A nearly endless struggle that most lovers & couples face
When relationships get rocky or slowly crumble
Yet it?s the aftermath that creates the real struggle

The pain is so intense we wonder if we?ll be able to find love again
Or were we ever meant to.

Yet we always have a sense of longing & yearning to be with that person
No matter the time that has passed

However?

Will we ever find that same feeling that was once cherished long ago?
Or will we be forever suffering in this continuous cycle of pain, sadness, & longing to be loved again chain?

[Presea]

It's cooies, Yuki-san. You know what I've noticed while writing poems? It's really important, and seems to leave a better impact if you have a steady rhythm going throughout the poem. Sometimes it's soooooo hard to keep up that steady rhythm, though! Also, it always seems so hard for me to find words that rhyme and still go along with the rhythm! I'm serious! You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find a rhyme for this line:

Embracing cold, while darkness reigns,
He gazes on the snowy plains.

It took me forever to think of plains to rhyme with reigns. And, technically, it doesn't even really rhyme! It's a 'slant rhyme'. Anyhoo, I'm ramblin' here, so I'd better stop before I get too far.

[Kyouka-chan]

I would actually think "reigns" and "plains" to rhyme, since we basically have the same sound, simply spelled differently... In the slant rhyme I've seen, it's normally the ending consonant sound that differs (though the last sound is most likely to be of the same "family" thingy like nasal, fricative, labial, etc.) or an obvious vowel difference...like...

It was not 'til evening that he came,
Walking, weary 'cross the plain.

...in which I believe that "m" and "n" are both nasal sounds in English. Or in terms of vowel slant...

A very circle this one ain't,
'Tis a single line to itself but bent.

Note that "very" is an older way to say "true" (comes from Latin "verus"). "Ai" and "e" come from about the same formation of the tongue, and I believe can be considered slant rhyme in poetry analyzation.

At least that's how I understand slant rhyme. Might be wrong. XD (And...yeah, I made both up just now. X.x)

[Presea]

Yeah, I s'spose that's a more accurate description of a slant rhyme. Have u ever considered writin' poetry, Kyouka-san? You'd prolly be pretty good.

[Shirotatsu]

Yeah, I write little things here and there. I normally use very free verse, with no constant meter or rhyme scheme...it's been a while since I've written something though. I'll post if I come up with something. ^^

[Presea]

Coolies. I like your new username. It seems to... fit better.

[Shirotatsu]

Oh, thanks. ^^ It's my old username, that I kind of stopped going to after I disappeared from the board for a really long time...when I came back I was using Kyouka-chan (I had temporarily forgotten my password, and remembered it right after Kyouka-chan was created XDD), then 'cause I didn't want to just get rid of the thing Harken made for me, I just switched back to Shirotatsu and put my new signature/avatar set here. ^^