What are you thinking of? (Ver 2) Options

[Shirotatsu]

I'm thinking about how understanding songs in Japanese isn't that hard anymore...and also about the contraction "ain't."

You?

[Noriko]

I'm thinking of the next word for here. >> << >>

[Shirotatsu]

...that wonderful best-sounding example of how to use ain't as it was originally intended escapes my mind. Oh well.

Your thoughts?

[Docs Fox]

I'm thinking occlusive and lachrymal are both great words. ^^;

You?

[Shirotatsu]

I'm thinking about what I was thinking about, which I can't remember now.

You?

[Noriko]

I'm getting really sick of the "running from reality" nonsense. I'm dealing with it - I'm not sealing myself in a room and whining about how much life sucks. I'm still going to school, church (although that is my dad forcing me along, I'd be spending my Sunday mornings some other way, if I had a say), and hanging out with friends, and very much immersing myself in reality, if you will. Letting someone I have no control over consume me and ruin my life would be a rather idiotic thing for me to do, so I'm not letting myself do that. When I start huddling in a corner and crying about how the world is out to get me is when I'll be running from everything - but I can still find the things I'm dealing with unfair. Being accused of doing nothing is highly annoying, since I'm not in denial and I am doing what little I can.

A quick, painless death as opposed to a dragged out one is far more merciful, but I'm getting irritated with your twisting my words around. I said a young child dying to learn things by experience wasn't fair, nothing about how no one should die, maybe I missed a word or two in my sentence, fine. Someone should be able to infer my intended meanings from later paragraphs (rather than acting like I'm contradicting myself), unless my views were to drastically change over a two or three day time period. The point I was trying to get across was that everyone should have a chance to raise a family, have a long-term job, etc. - the typical life dream. Living life forever would obviously become boring, and would greatly mess up the world's ability to accommodate us and I'd like to think I'm more intelligent than to want us all to die from a lack of resources because dying of anything else is unfair.

But as long as a person is healthy, and happy, they shouldn't have to suddenly be shot down with a terminal illness out of nowhere. My mom died within minutes of having a stroke, and the chances of her having been in pain are slim to none - why this can't hold true for everyone is something I've always wondered. Sure, it hurts more to lose someone suddenly, but selfishly wanting them to stay while they're in a great deal of pain? That's almost worse. I don't see how anyone can call a God that lets his followers suffer so much merciful, and yet I know many atheists who are in excellent health and are very happy. Honestly? It looks like people who believe are the ones who suffer, and those who refuse to believe are the ones who life lives that aren't riddled with as much trouble.

He's not single; he's married and has been for a couple of years. I didn't see need to mention his spouse (as I don't know his spouse at all, but I have seen the child), but apparently me not doing so completely screws up all perception of the situation. There is nothing 'normal' about my friendships, as I have practically no friends no age, but prefer to associate with people older than me who I can have a meaningful conversation with. I'd think people would guess that about me from how many annoyances I find in my age group. I was raised to think that was fine, and I'd like to keep on believing that, thank you.

I'm writing my words down, not speaking them - hence me liking to follow formal writing law. I probably mess up on grammar every now and then, but a forum/e-mail/IMs/letters are always going to read more like a paper than a social interaction to me. It's hard for me to imagine a conversation being written out in paragraphs, because they aren't presented as such - they interrupt themselves, and have random actions thrown in. And, no, someone typing "*glomps*" or "*whines*" doesn't make it feel more realistic.

I actually have seen that book before; it's amusing, to say the least.

[Shiidou Hikaru]

A person is still their parent's child if they're 50

That may be biologically true Batou-san, but not socially true. If a parent-child relationship matures properly it will evolve into something closer to an brother-sister, sister-sister, brother-brother, type of thing. There is no longer a situation of two groups of people standing on different levels of authority within the family structure, but instead everyone existing fairly equally. Adult children still have a great deal of respect for their parents, but parents also come to respect the talents and accomplishments of their children and the lives that they've built for themselves. It all becomes very mutual (at least in my case it did) but everyone should expect that same type of outcome eventually.

That's really sad to hear about what happened to your mom Noriko-chan. v_v *huggles* From the time that I was 8 years old, my dad had been sick with an incurable disease that eventually killed him. It took 22 years for that to happen though and it was very sad to watch him suffering towards the end. My family had a lot of time to prepare ourselves for his death, so there wasn't a sudden shock like you had to experience. But even though my dad had to suffer like that for so long, he never lost his spirit, he never became depressed or wanted to give up living. To him life was still worth it which is an impression he made on me that I'll never forget. None of us knows what sort of trial we will face when our time comes, all that matters is that we not lose hope and that we live the best that we can in the time that we have left.

[Shirotatsu]

I'm thinking of branches of Christianity, etc.

You?

[Noriko]

... I'm thinking of how I really wish my own dad didn't shove everything I'm supposed to do (even where I'm allowed to apply for a job at, good grief) down my throat, since my perception of such a relationship would be a lot better then. I'm also tired from this week.

You?

[q3m]

I'm thinking about the recent influx of religious and philosophical discussions and how/if I should approach the subject. Upsetting those with power might get me banned. So, I guess it might be better for everyone if I steer clear from this discussion altogether.

[Shiidou Hikaru]

I'm thinking of what it is that Kyuu-san might say that would cause me to ban him ... O.o;;

... but yeah, political and/or religious topics tend to not go over well on online forums.

It seems to me like your dad is being a little oppressive Noriko-chan. I know that it is important for parents to look out for the well being of their children, but at the same time I know that children are unique individuals too. As a parent I know that it's not correct for me to try to force my kids to grow up as clones of myself or even force them to fit into a preconceived notion of what I envision my children would be when they grow up. It's important for me to be a guide to help my children avoid life's traps and pitfalls, but ultimately they must choose their own path in life. Unfortunately, I'm aware that other parents have very high expectations from their children. Another friend of mine did very well in school and did excellent on her SAT's, but was still punished by her parents because she didn't get into Harvard. Some people are so selfish it makes me want to scream! >_<

Erm, without knowing the specifics of the jobs you've been applying for Noriko-chan, all that I would discourage you from doing is anything that might be life threatening or if the person/business you'd be working for had a known criminal reputation or something like that. Anything else should be fine I would think.

[Docs Fox]

I'm thinking of my recent behavior and how it parallels symptoms of clinical depression.


You?

[Noriko]

The interesting thing is how I want to less and less like him the more he does those sort of things. The only problem is that all I have to fall back on is some of my mother's teaching, and she didn't even bother with a lot of things because I was too young and anti-social for them to be useful. I can definitely somewhat relate with your friend, Hikaru-chan; I've been scolded for getting Bs before. I also got yelled at for only being ranked in the 95 out of 99 group on my standard tests - just because he got 99s on everything. I'm scared of what will happen at ACTs... ugh.

Well, I've just been hoping for a cashier job at some store, like CVS - or a waitress job. *shrug* He's just convinced I'll have to take off too many days for newspaper, even though the rest of the staff has jobs and it seems to work out. He told a bunch of people from church to refuse to be my references just to get on my nerves too, haha.

[Shirotatsu]

I'm thinking of turning my brain off for a few days...at least school wise. Unless you call making up languages "school work."

Your thoughts?

[Shiidou Hikaru]

Unfortunately it looks like your relationship with your dad is getting pushed more and more towards alienation Noriko-chan. v_v. That's really, really sad because it could eventually lead to complete separation later on. What you said about the standardized tests is almost exactly what happened to my friend Aizy-chan, except that she scored 97th percentile. The problem with parental expectations is that they are something that the parent wants and doesn't really take into account what the child wants which is very selfish on the parents' part. Like I said before, children are individuals with their own needs and desires and what they want does matter and should not be ignored. I'm not sure if you feel that way (like you're being ignored) but ignoring the needs of another person is probably the best way that there is to ruin a relationship with them and create alienation.

He told a bunch of people from church to refuse to be my references just to get on my nerves too, haha.

O.o;; He really did that? That's the sort of dirty, underhanded behavior I'd expect from bitterly opposed business competitors rather than from a father/daughter relationship. Personally I'd be delighted that my daughter was actually taking the initiative to go out and find work for herself. There wouldn't be anything that I'd do to try to discourage that ... but I might think of ways to get contributions to the family finances, lol There isn't anything wrong with your job ideas either. Yuzuki-chan that used to come here a lot has a waitressing job that pays well and she likes it a lot, although the manager can be annoying sometimes. The first job that I had was doing cashier work at a Sears department store so I wouldn't frown on that either. The pay wasn't very good, but I love shopping and got to dress up and wear nice clothes for work everyday which made it a rather fun job. A place like CVS probably wouldn't require dressing up, but I doubt that they would discourage it if you really wanted to. There's probably more to the story, but it's discouraging that your dad is being such a lead weight around your ankles at this time when you're trying to spread your wings for the first time. *huggles*

[Noriko]

I do want to do my best, but it aggravates me when my best isn't good enough for his standards. Just because he got super high scores in school and denied himself a social life doesn't mean I should do the same. I only get to go out during the weekends as it is, which is bearable, but makes it hard to work around my friends who work during most of the weekend and have school nights off. :x

If there is more to it, I wish he'd tell me. I repeatedly have asked him what is so wrong about me getting a job and have gotten nothing other than the easily counter-able "takes too much time from schoolwork" argument. I wouldn't even really mind giving some of it to him to help with bills or whatever; I just want an extra $20 or so to go on the weekends and a bit to set aside for college. I also need to pay for ACTs and next year's AP tests You'd think he'd be happy to not have to pay for expensive testing. Meh.

[Shiidou Hikaru]

It is a good thing to set a high goal to aim for as far as academic achievement goes Noriko-chan, but the goal shouldn't be so high that it is not attainable. It's unreasonable to expect a person to score a perfect 4.0 in every subject, but maybe your dad was the type of over-achiever person that did just that. Well, "over-achiever" is a personality trait and has nothing to do with intelligence or work ethic. Somehow your dad needs to find a way to accept the fact that not everyone can be the valedictorian of their class and it doesn't mean that they are lazy or stupid. You expressed a desire to have a meaningful social life which is perfectly acceptable. There are other things in life that are worthwhile besides good grades, career, money, and power and it's very often that the "other things" are what give us the most happiness in life, so it's important to have a balance. Somewhere I saw that you see your pastor sometimes for spiritual advice, so at some point he(she?) might have explained our spiritual and material natures as human beings. We have both, that can't be changed, so both must be nutured, and neither can be ignored. It's why some of the most materialistic people are the most unhappy - they've ignored their own spiritual health. "Spirit" doesn't necessarily mean having to do with any religion, it's just the essence of who we are although religions do have many effective ways to nurture the spirit. Icck, I'm going off track again ... well I just see that you're not the geeky bookworm type and want more out of life so ... hmm try to get your dad to go out and do something fun with you sometime. Maybe if he gets to the point of enjoying himself, then would be a good time to explain that you want more of that too and not to have to spend every waking moment studying.

I agree that "takes too much time from schoolwork" is not an adequate explanation. There could be many other reasons. If your family is financially very wealthy, then your dad might view working as a waste of time, or even undignified. But in that case he should be providing you with a generous allowance to live on. (I'm guessing this is not the case because you see exam costs as being expensive) Another idea is that having a job would give you a way to exert independence and there are a number of reasons that your dad might not want that. Some parents can be very clingy or overly attached to their children so if your start to spread your wings like baby bird is about to fly out of the nest, this could be distressing for a parent because they would lose some of the closeness that they feel with you in the house every day. Also, some parents (or just people in general) can be very controlling, so if you start to achieve independence by getting a job, that erodes away at their control and they will fight against it. I'm not sure if that's the case with your dad, but it is possible because I sense a lot of frustration from you due to him resisting your efforts.

[Shirotatsu]

I'm thinking of how the English version of the novel of Shakugan no Shana deleted a certain illustration...

You?

[Docs Fox]

being sick certainly isn't enjoyable.


You?

[Noriko]

I'm thinking of my latest anime interest, Romeo x Juliet, and the newfound love I have for the original play and other things referencing it now. Hm.

You?