Poems #2, some more hard-hitters. Options

[Seraph]

****UPDATE: There are new poems of mine in subsequent posts. The warning below in red, along with the accompanying explanation, only applies to my first post. Thank you. ****

not for the faint of heart

an explanation, first. These poems follow a portion of my life where I battled depression, both within myself and others, and finally, my victory over my own demons. This is why I say these poems are not for the faint of heart. They are a look at the inside of an extremely disturbed mind, but they are some of my more powerful pieces. They're rather un-refined, but I don't think that subtracts from them much. If you still want to read these, then please, post comments. And in case you're curious, I've been going for a little more than a year without lapsing back into the kind of depression that brought these on.

Running the dark maze of
my mind.
Can't seem to make the
path unwind.

What is this
monster building within.
Is it Hate?
Is it Sin?

I can feel it,
Taking control.
I can sense it.
The burning.
A lost soul.

What the hell is going on?
Why
can't I think?
Feel?
Hurt?
Heal?

Am I going insane?
I don't know.
In this labaryinth of the
brain.
I can't find the way.

The way out,
tyo daylight,
safety,
from the Ghouls in the

darkness.
Light.
Everything between.
Shades of grey.
What does it mean?

why are we
here?
where are we going?
what is our purpose in this world?

Who knows?
Who cares?

I'm here.
I'm out.
I'm safe.
I am Grey Wolf.
I am Nestaron
I am Iakona.
I am Seraph.
I am
Me.

*************

am sorry.
I wasn't there.
For the fallen.

He needed me,
and I wasn't there.
For the fallen.

Why do I
always miss
The fallen?

God damn it why?
Why am I the one that
goes on?
For the fallen?

*************

what is this?
Is this Death?
Short on time.
Short on breath.

What do I do?
Do I run?
Do I hide?
Do I retreat deep inside?

Do I stand?
Do I fight?

What if I'm wrong?

What if I'm right?

What if I took my life?
Tonight?

No. I can see it.
The darkness
thinning
into light................................................................

**********************

my words

My words are knives
with them I strike down
my enemies

My words are a balm
with them I heal the hearts
of my friends

My words are walls
I retreat
behind them
to avoid getting hurt

My words are
emotion
My words are
life
my words are
me

************************

Two choices
What is right?
what is wrong?
Who are we to decide?

What do I know?
Just a kid
Which way do I go?
The way I just did.

Confusion
fear
darkness
does it have to be this way?

Is there an alternative?
I don't know.
I'm so confused
scared
alone.

Help me.
help me to see
the point of my existance.

I am my own man
I follow my own path
though it may lead me
straight to hell.

I will fight
I will break free
I will claw my way out
and be who
I want to be.

*********************

I burn
in my own little hell
I am fallen
I am darkness
Fear me
I am death.

No love
No light
no sound
no music

I am broken
I am fallen
I burn
in my own little hell.

I am nothing
a void
a useless husk
I burn
in my own little hell

No purpose
no need
no emotion
no sensation

I am dead
I am lifeless
I burn




in my own little hell.

***************

Alone again
What made me
Think that I
Could love?
Could be?
In love?
My heart, my soul
Belongs to
the blade.

I
am a Fighter.
I fight for myself
I fight to be free of this
Pain is my teacher
Teach me how
To fight.
To forget.
To be free.

**************

I have arrived.
Fear me
I am darkness
fear me
I am death.
I am your worst nightmare
I haunt your every dream
Fear me
I am darkness
Fear me
I am death
I am the thing that goes bump in the night
I am the monster under your bed.
Fear me
I am darkness
Fear me
I am death
I am the puppet master
pulling the strings.
From my throat the angel no longer sings.
Fear me
I am darkness
Fear me
I am death.
Fear me
I am dark
Fear me
I am dead

************


The angel fallen
The saint turned sinner
I can hear him callin'
and in that kinda game
there ain't no winner.

the freak laid bare
for everyone to stare
at the end of his wits
but he never quits

angry and alone
accident prone
able to kill
but lacking the will

Live by the sword
die by the gun
the word is the word
man, that ain't no fun.

The angel fallen
The saint turned sinner
I can hear him callin'
and in that kinda game
there ain't no winner.

What can I say?
What can I do?
what does it take
to satisfy you?

Money
power
fortune and fame?
what's the secret?
how can I win this game?

This game called life
which we all play
putting on our characters

day after day
week after week
month after month
year after year

I'm sick of all this
had it up to here
with all the Preps
and the goths an the freaks
all the same
thinkin' they're so unique.

The angel fallen
The saint turned sinner
I can hear him callin'
and in that kinda game
there just ain't no winner.

***********************

Through the darkness
I burn
From the ashes
I rise
Embrace me
I am light
Embrace me
I am life

The music
has returned
in hell
I no longer burn
I have found my way
Even if I do not
know my path.
Embrace me
I am light
Embrace me
I am life

I can feel
I can heal
I can make it
through the day
Embrace me
I found the light
Embrace me
I am Alive.

****************************

I walk into the face of death
with all my life behind me
yet in this my final breath
Love comes hard behind me.

I walk into the face of death
my blade cold in my hand
I will fight even after my last breath
for I do love this land

I walk into the face of death
and I am unafraid
for you see,
I am DeathAngel
and from he
Seraph was made.